We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
