Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
