Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
