So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
