oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
