U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
