Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
