I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
