the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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