2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My liver just broke up with me...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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