so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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