The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
