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how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
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