508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
