But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed