sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
