Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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