what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
