dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
where does the pee come out of this thing
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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