$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
