last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
