she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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