when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
