its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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