i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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