The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
