she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
