I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
