My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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