she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I deserve this hangover.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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