If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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