its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize