i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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