i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
