is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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