My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
