dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
