She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Randomize
