He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
