Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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