We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
ttyl tear gas
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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