White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
