You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize