I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
