their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize