There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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