i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
