Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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