How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
