I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
