I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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