he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i drank out of a bidet.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I need moral support for this bender
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
