I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
