dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
