my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
