there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize