Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
