Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
