Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
This house was built for laser tag.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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