I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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