I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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