We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize