Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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