areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
