just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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