he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
