4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
