Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
